So, here it is...my first "official" blog on Snarky Mama! If you are looking for all the "cutesy stuff" like Snarky Belle has on her site, well then, aren't you the disappointed one?!?!
I don't know how to do anything more than write on a computer. After all, by the time I even learned to use a computer, my "technological clock" had almost stopped ticking. However, I am living proof that there a few tricks you can still teach an old dog!
I can't sleep. That simple, I just can't sleep. The last time I had one of these completely restless nights where I up and decided to do something "out there"...I got up, got online and registered to take the LSAT. Yep, at 4:30 a.m. one morning several years ago I couldn't think of anything more productive to do, so that's what I did. I woke Snarky Papa up and said, "Alrighty then, I have done it, now." (This always makes him a little more than nervous, he has known me a very long time and for some reason when he hears those words, he never knows what damage control measures he might have to take!) "I am going to Law School, well, at least I am taking the test that says whether or not there is a snow ball's chance in you know where that they will let me in Law School."
Several weeks later, I took the test, several weeks after that I received my scores, and the next fall I was in! Yep, right there, sitting ever so snugly between people who graduated from high school and college with my kids! WHAT was I thinking? I wasn't. If I had thought about it then there would not be much more to my law school career. I would have never done it, had I thought too long about doing it!
That is my Snarky Mama M.O...I can typically talk myself right out of whatever I talked myself right into if I think about it long enough. That big, ugly, nasty word grabs me with it's death grip and chokes the very life out of any good idea(s) ((sometimes bad idea(s)) that I might have had in my head...FEAR! Geez, I HATE FEAR!
I have a dear friend from law school who said every time she looked at me all she could think was "oxymoron." I definitely got the "moron" part...she is brilliant. I hoped I didn't get the "oxy" part...anything with "ox" in it makes me immediately think "large" "big" "not attractive" and my family knows NEVER, NEVER do you use the words "big" or "large" when referring to anything about me! (Those are stories for another day...I have mastered the art of "poor self imagery" and I know it. No, counseling will not help. But, alas, I digress, although it will make for some great posts in the future!). SO, back to the oxymoron, apparently, I am a complete and total "contradiction" from what I might appear to others. I am still not certain in what context she meant the term, we never really discussed the matter. After she assured me it had nothing to do with my physical appearance, but rather my personality, I did not much care. She liked me and we became forever friends, despite the fact that I was twice her age, literally.
Thus, enters the four letter word I hate: "FEAR"...I don't like being afraid. And lately, I always seem "afraid." Maybe it is the political fervor and unrest. Maybe it is that I realize even if I live another 53 years, my guess is that my life is 1/2 over. Maybe it is that I know my parents cannot live another 53 years and that makes me so sad I cannot even think about it. Maybe it is that I see my children are faced with raising up my grandchildren in what seems to be a moral forsaken, integrity depleated, godless world. Maybe it is that it seems as though every time I turn around someone I love is sick, struggling, angry, or depressed. Maybe it is that I live in the hottest dang part of this country and it is getting hotter every summer. I don't know. I just know that I don't like it!
I like being happy. I actually like waking up every day in a good mood. Maybe that is it. Nobody ever seems happy anymore. People seem so angry. I know when people are angry nothing good ever seems to happen. Maybe that is the fear. The fear that we, as Americans, as brothers and sisters, are so caught up in some sick "sibling rivalry" that we have forgotten we are here to help each other, not kill each other, literally or figuratively speaking. It seems like everything that used to be fun is not anymore.
When Snarky and Little Brothers were growing up, we had fun. (At least, I did...I certainly hope they did). Sure, there were some "not so fun" days, but over all life was fun. We were always broke, so you can't tell me money is the difference. We never had any. We just worked from can until can't to raise three exceptionally beautiful and talented kids who were always doing something and involved in everything. But, they seemed....happy.
We have spent the last three week-ends watching Little League Baseball. (Yes, the tradition continues...we now have exceptionally beautiful and talented grandchildren...and yes, you will hear about them, all of them. So if it bothers you, don't bother coming back. There is nothing I find more pleasure in than my family...period).
Everyone just seemed angry. These are 8 year olds, people, 8 year olds. This is NOT the Major League World Series and NO, 99% of your kids that you think are Hank Aarons, they are NOT! Can they please just play baseball and have fun?
Do not get me wrong...I LOVE winning. Winning is a good thing. I do not believe in nor do I remotely subscribe to the "everyone is a winner" theory. No, the people who have the most runs at the end of the game are the winners. The other team, operative word, "team"...are the losers. See, it is o.k. to say the word. Your team "lost." Your kid is not a loser as a person. The two are NOT the same. That is what is wrong with your kid. You have somehow taught him/her to equate not "winning" every time with their self-esteem. How do you that? How do you tie self-esteem to the most runs on a score board at the end of a game? And what are you so mad about? If your kid is stomping the dirt, making faces, and being rude and disrespectful to you because of a lost baseball game, who's problem is that, really? Helloooooooo, YOU are the parent.
The whole event has been most interesting to watch. I know people get disappointed. I understand. My only question is why do you people seem so miserable? I know it is hot. I know that not every thing is "fair." How many times did I hear, "That's not fair." Oh My Gosh!
But, for the most part, y'all just seemed miserable. I wish you knew how many of you walked right by me on the way to the concession stand and/or bathroom. I smiled, said hello, and most of you grunted something that with a great stretch of imagination might could have been interpreted as a "hello." I honestly began to wonder how many of you know what fun these days are, really. Do you have any idea how much you will miss these moments in time? Sure, they are hectic, crazy, and stressful. That is part of this journey. But, it is still fun! What are you wanting? Nothing but wins? Well, you ain't gonna get 'em! So, why not enjoy the journey? Why not be thankful your child is out there on the field...running, playing, healthy? For me, that was the best! To watch my daughter and my sons "growing up." To be able to be there and enjoy watching them.
I cannot tell you how many "wins" or "loses" there were. I can only tell you I was there and they had fun. We had fun. We were not "angry" all the time.
I don't know...Maybe as I climb this mountain called life I get a little better view. The "anger" I see makes me "afraid." I "fear" people, especially the younger generations, are letting their "anger" at realizing that life is not always calm and perfect take over their "fun."
Try it, for me...just try it. Tomorrow wake up and be happy. No, your day may not be perfect. You may have to adjust a little, take hit or two, but even a bad day can be better if you will look for the "wins" in your life. Count your blessings. Smile at someone who smiles at you. Better yet, smile at someone who doesn't. You might be the only bright spot in their day. Most of all, know that in some small way you are helping relieve a little of Snarky Mama's FEAR....fear that one day I will wake up and the whole world really is angry and bitter. I don't want that for you, for me, for your children, grandchildren or mine.
Seriously, don't think about it. If you do, you will talk yourself right out of doing it. You will be afraid...what if they don't smile back, what if they think I am a nut? See, how easy it is to talk yourself right out of good thing.
People used to be happier. I know it. Somehow we talked ourselves right out of it...happiness!
We were afraid one day we might be disappointed so we got mad about all the things that are not perfect. The scoreboard might have us behind a little. There are a lot of "not so fun" things out there right now. There is no reason we can't put on our "rally caps" and turn this game around.
WE, as a team, can stop being angry, stop being afraid, and savor the moments...Life is not a game, but it sure as heck can be FUN!
Well, I can't promise when I will post again. There will never be much of a platform here. Just my life...my thoughts that day. I can't promise you will be any more intelligent or inspired by reading them. But, I hope they will, at least for the most part, make you smile. Come on over and enjoy the journey with Snarky Mama!
Y'all come back now, ya hear!